Jainko maitea/ Beloved God

 

Jainko maitea/ Beloved God

Zuk nire bihotza inork baino hobeto ezagutzen duzu, eta sentimendu hau letratan baino ez dut adierazten, 'Begi Berdeurdinak' irakur dezan... Beldur pixka bat daukat, nire emozio berri honekin nahaspila sortzen ari naiz, nire bihotzean kabitzen ez dena. Arrazoi osoz, esaten dit nire hitzek, nire letrek eta nire ibilaldiek larrituta eta aztertuta sentiarazten dutela... Gida nazazu, Jauna, ulermenera eta adimenera, nahi dudan adiskidetasun hau ez hondatzeko. Lagun nazazu nire asmoak hobeto ulertarazten, beti nire benetako asmoak ager daitezen, nire bizitza osoan eduki dudan bertute eta moral onarekin. Esan nahi diot zein pertsona ederra den, zein emakume ederra den, zein zoriontsu ikusi nahi dudan, zein barreak atera nahi dizkiodan, eta zein irribarre sortu nahi dizkiodan, gaurtik eta betiko. Igande bakoitzean letratan amets egiten jarraituko dut, hegazti iheskor honen konfiantza irabazi arte. Agian, egunen batean, ez oso urrun, nork daki!, akaso orriotako sasi kriptiko honen masailak laztandu ditzake... elikatu, bere magal epelan etzan, bere airea arnastu, bere beroak usaindu, bere koloreak entzun, bere kopetan musu eman, poliki, bere beheko ezpainari musu eman, gero goikoari... Inoiz inork maite izan ez duen bezala maite... Haren adiskidetasuna ukatu ez duen bitartean, 50 urte bete aurretik, berak edo nik! Nire sormena eskainiko dut [berari dibertitzeko]. Jainkoak ezagutzen du nire egia, askatasuna, Maitasun infinitua berari emateko...

You know my heart better than anyone, and I only express this feeling in words for 'BlueGreen Gaze' to read... I’m a bit scared; I’m messing things up with this new emotion that doesn’t fit in my heart. She tells me, quite rightly, that she feels overwhelmed and scrutinized by my words, my writings, and my wanderings... Guide me, Lord, to understanding and wisdom so as not to ruin this friendship I so deeply desire. Help me to express myself better and ensure that my true intentions for her are always seen, with all the virtue and good morals I believe I’ve carried throughout my life. I only want to tell her what a beautiful person she is, what a lovely woman she is, how happy I want to see her, the laughter I want to draw from her, and the smiles I want to inspire, from today and forever. Every Sunday, I’ll keep dreaming in words until I earn the trust of this elusive little bird. Perhaps one day, not too far off, who knows!, I might even caress the cheeks of this cryptic doe... feed her, rest in her warm embrace, breathe her air, smell her warmth, hear her colors, kiss her forehead, slowly, kiss her lower lip, then the upper... Love her like no one has ever loved her before... As long as she doesn’t deny her friendship, Before she turns 50, or I do! I’ll dedicate my creativity to [entertaining her]. God knows my truth, my freedom, Infinite love to give her...